Honesty: you feel comfortable talking about things in the relationship, including problems or concerns.

Good communication: you discuss things that are important to you or your relationship. You ask each other what you’re thinking and feeling and you listen to each other.

Respect: you respect and support each other, and listen to each other’s concerns. It’s important to treat yourself with respect and say no to things that make you uncomfortable.

Feeling safe: if you feel threatened in any way, you’re not in a healthy relationship. Feeling safe is both emotional and physical. It’s important to know that your partner won’t try to hurt your feelings or your body.

Trust: trust is about being able to count on someone. It’s about believing that someone will be honest with you and follow through on their promises. When you trust someone, you know that they’ll support you and look out for you. You have each other’s best interests at heart.

Equality: equality keeps relationships safe and fair. For example, being equal in a relationship means sharing the power, not bossing each other around. Equality can also mean sharing the effort. If you text or call your partner often, but they don’t seem to have time for you, your relationship may be unequal.

Support: support is about feeling cared for and respected. In healthy relationships, people listen to each other, help out with problems and show support by attending important events.

Don’t accuse: even if you’ve been wronged, it’s better to explain how you feel than to blame or accuse the other person. For example, it’s better to say, “I felt hurt and embarrassed when you did that,” than “You think I’m an idiot.”

Address the problem: discuss what you’d like to change. Aim for a solution rather than winning the argument.

Step back: when tempers are hot, take a break. Suggest that you talk about it in a day or two, after you’ve both had time to cool off and think.

Think before you press send: give yourself some time to cool off before you send an online message. If you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t say it online.

Think before you press send: give yourself some time to cool off before you send an online message. If you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t say it online.

Control: your partner tells you what to do, what to wear or who to hang out with. They constantly check up on you or use threats (for example, to harm you or themselves) to make you do things.

Humiliation: your partner calls you names, puts you down or makes you feel bad in front of others.

Unpredictability: your partner gets angry easily and you don’t know what will set them off. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

Pressure: your partner pushes you to do things you don’t want to do or aren’t ready for, including sex or using drugs and alcohol. They don’t take “no” for an answer and they use threats or ultimatums.